Unfortunately I’ve still got poor teeth,
But they’re brighter than they used to be,
And my smile’s regimental and bite more than keen,
And compliant with your policies.
My glasses are rimless though slightly too thick,
Although they’re inclined to be pliable,
And my thoughts are atonal and my words a tonic,
And I have nothing to fear from the bible.
My beard and temples are clearly greying,
But I’m not in the least bit afraid;
I’m younger than most of the others applying,
And my accommodation is always prepaid.
My knees are together for stability,
This is why my foundations are splayed,
Though they’re working together, and gathering speed,
And reducing the price I must pay.
My clothing, as always, is colour correct,
And intended to placate all the laity,
Who cannot remember the point of their text,
But are quick to refer to their deity.
And my position is firmer than years ago
As I have tightened up how I appear;
I’m ready to submit myself to your fold
And live quietly behind your frontier.
My allegiance has changed, and I relish the fact,
That my taste has improved for the better,
But my letters to you have all been sent back,
Though your appetite seemed to be greater.
So it appears that I am not as flush as I thought,
Although I was wholly prepared.
My new life, suddenly, overdrawn overnight,
In the heat of the war you’ve declared.