Some people say that my friend Kevin drinks too much and is
Crippling himself by creating an uncontrollable situation.
But, if they put this scenario directly to him, he’d say he
Wouldn’t know what the hell they were talking about.
Somebody asked him about the other night’s activities:
Constantly feeding the fruit machine and falling off his stool.
He said “Look man, the other night, I can’t remember, but I
Know that I never carry fruit about with me, and I stand
On ceremony, not shit.” See what I mean.
Now I’m not saying that he’s deluding himself, or even
Avoiding the issue, but as far as he’s concerned there isn’t a
Problem. I mean, it wasn’t him, he was not there that man – and
The fact that he doesn’t recall, and never gets hang ups or
Overs, testifies to this. Although I believe recently he has had
Cause to encounter a fear of lying down.
Anyway, more than anything, his lack of after effects
Is the only thing that pissed me off. For more than a year, in the
Nineties, all we ever did on a Friday or Saturday night was
Stay up late on the pop, the shandy, you know. One day a girl
Came by and asked me what we did weekends and I said “I lay
Over here and Kev lies over there.” “And…” she said
“And…” Kev replied - we used to booze it up on anything
Boozable to hand, even home brew for a while, un-pasteurised
At that; we had a tab down the local off-licence for Christ’s sake.
Anyway, the thing is, he used to get up the next day, around
Noon, right as a lark, whilst I was still de-pressurising.
But, people used to say that I had a drink problem – yeah they
Were right – two hands and only one mouth. Don’t you love
The old ones best, even when they’re now going grey – on
Their chest. Apart from the drinking, in spite of it even, we
Dissected the religious and political issues of the day for free
Whilst comparing the relevant merits of Messrs Pacino and
de Niro. Danny was also a most welcome visitor to our shore...
...Now I must leave with my defence intact, and just for you, here
Is a moot note Kevin left me one day, confronting the situation, as
I was about to make the fateful leap into the arms of a woman…
“All our fucking yesterdays eh, never mind, we’ll still see each
Other now that circumstances have changed and always will,
Even when he goes to live underground, or I do…”