I was unable to give blood as they could not get at it,
So I offered them sweat but was told to forget it;
I asked how about then a bag full of tears,
But they answered that they were abundant this year.
So I forced a soft drink straw into a vein,
And a good friend stood by me to help with the pain,
But his three year old daughter blew into the straw
And because of the bends not a drop could be drawn.
So I gave up on the idea of self-sacrifice,
And procured an alter and slaughtering device,
Asked my friend to bring his family around for the night,
And the next day I donated much more than a pint.
It’s good to give blood ‘cause it’s for a good cause,
And progressives approve and provide their applause,
And I’m trying my hardest to come up with my quota,
But it will always be hard for a political floater.
So I went on a cancer prevention diet from fear,
And gained 100 pounds for the sake of my years,
You see it turns out that everything has its use,
In the end I was eating anything and its juice.
So I had to concede for the sake of my welfare,
And the not inconsiderable drain on my healthcare;
It’s not easy to heed all the things that we’re told,
And much harder to avoid eating into your soul.
I eventually lost my appetite for correction,
And relapsed in the fight to reform my digestion,
Though to avoid melanoma I hid from the sun,
But after a while I was as pure as a nun.
So forget all you hear from the fools in the big house,
With their spinning doctors dissecting the corpse
Of a mummified nation unwrapped in a room,
For the unknown fold know them and their end is soon.