ALEX LESTER ON HER WEDDING.

There was a girl called Alex Lester
Who went to bed in a sou’wester.
Her boy friend said
‘Your off your head’.
She said ‘I know how drink arrests ya’.

He got the hump and didn’t speak,
But in the night he sprung a leak,
And in the morn
Alex had gone,
Leaving him to wallow in shit creek.

When she returned he was still there;
He hadn’t moved, he didn’t dare.
As from the bed
His mess had spread
Bemiring every thoroughfare.

From his cold features she recoiled,
Now covered in a pissy oil;
He slowly rose
And found his clothes,
But these were also badly soiled.

She ran out screaming down the lane;
He followed streaming in the rain,
And hatched a plan
In Amsterdam:
To never be the same again.

Their wedding day was well received,
And everybody was relieved,
And all went well
Until the bell,
When nobody could stand but Keev.